December Recollections

Oh, December, why so inevitably fast?
Not much happened this month but still it was full of quality time spent with my friends and family. I went to see 'Interstellar' with a friend of mine and we both enjoyed it to all our hearts' content. I actually like the concept of the world's existence shared in the film, it might be true. Well, at least it made me think of it for good 2 weeks after seeing it. Anyway, the film is worth seeing especially if you, like me, torment your friends asking why? who? and what for? questions trying to figure out what is the main point of human being existance on this planet.
This month as all three previous ones I've been trying to prepare myself for IELTS. I took one sample test at home concerning Listening and Reading ( the sections that I can actually take on my own and correct the mistakes I made) and I got something around 7.0 for Listening and 7.5 for Reading. I don't know how much effort I should put into preparation to get at least 8.0 in all the sections. I was thinking of getting help from a tutor and maybe it's a good idea. Well, I'll soon see.
I don't remember mentioning that I'm writing a short story which is almost autobiographical and I can hardly imagine even putting it online or showing it to my closest friends. It deals with commiting feelings to the paper and letting everybody know what you really feel inside. It scares me a lot. Even a scarce thought of it. I'd once promised to myself that I'd never regret anything that happened in my life but I broke my promise the very day I couldn't properly express my feelings and was trying to subdue them when it was the first and the last time I was able to tell the truth. So, I missed it.
I don't want to end this blogpost on such a sad note. I'd rather tell you something different. Tomorrow my university friends and I are going to celebrate Christmas and pre-New Year and I am really looking forward to that as it's probably the last pre-New Year we're spending together. There's going to be lots of champagne, sushi, cakes, smiles and laughter.
Merry belated Christmas and Happy New Year, let your wishes be fulfilled by that effort you put into them coming true.

Love, Christina M.               

High Expectations

This post has been in my drafts for almost two weeks and only now when it's properly arranged I can post it. This semester at uni is just so much pressure so that I can't be bothered even to stop and think about the exact moment I'm living in. This post will be concentrated around the topic of high expectations.

Some psychologists say that the toughest years of your life are the ones of teenagehood. I wish I could agree. For me, the hardest and life-changing years are those of early twenties. It's felt more evident when you are at your final year at university and it seems as if you are gradually whilst coming closer to the graduation falling into the deepest, darkest hole of unknown. You are still undecided what you want to do in life (even though your relatives are absolutely sure that you are an adult now and are stable in your choices), you're trying to hide yourself behind those idealistic thoughts of perfect life or creating in your mind a set of falures that you're gonna make.

I am by far not an exception. I'm facing the same fears every single day and this kind of fear's become something of a habit. I find myself struggling while even thinking about my future profession. But wait! Some people might say: "You're majoring in teacing. Why struggle then?" The answer is that I'm not sure that I want to spend the rest of my life teaching children at a school where my salary would be lower than one of the cleaners'. I need to further my language studies. I feel like our public school education system is in lack of good qualified teachers although it's non of their fault. 

First of all, I'd love to see the world, to get my own experience to be able to tell my students about it, to motivate them to study foreign languages. Right now I'm like those teachers who don't have any teaching aim. But I couldn't imagine a person having no aim in life whatsoever. Unfortunately, at this exact moment this person is me. I still have some options, nonetheless. I should just try to choose the one I need the most. And that's the hardest choice because after graduation I'd be like thrown away into the ocean, waves covering me gently or roughly depending on the situation I'd be going through. 

Secondly, I've never wanted to settle down. I want to have my freedom, all of it if it's possible. I want to move to a new flat, have a fresh start maybe even move to another country for a couple of years and then go back home because homesickness is unbearable. 

Thirdly, my main problem in life is that I always have high expectations of everything that is to happen: when I'm meeting a friend after a long time not seeing, when I'm trying to predict future events, when I'm organising something of a festive manner etc etc etc. If I depict those events in my head as ones that are going to pass really well, in reality in the end I always-always find myself sitting in ruins whether those ruins are actual or mental.   

Nevertheless, all the things I described above might be only some remote problems of the ones that students in their twenties face nowadays. I think that the most useful thing to do will be to write down your ideas and solutions and maybe stick to them for a while. My stepfather always says that at the end of each new phase/stage of life there are choices that you might not see at the exact moment but you'll have them all when you reach the end of the phase/stage you are now in.

Love, Christina M.   

Face of the Day (FOTD)

I've decided to recreate the look that I was wearing to Skillet concert. It is simple and only takes up to 15 minutes. 

Here are the products that I used:

1. Lush Tea Tree Water
2. Vivienne Sabo concealer in A1
3. Chanel Vitalumiere Aqua in 12 Beige Rose
4. M.A.C Select Sheer Pressed Powder in NC30
5. Avon Diamond Sparkle 
6. Bourjois Blush in 11 Brun Illusion
7. Maybelline Silk Glam Palette 
8. Oriflame Eyshadow in Taupe 
9. Lumene Eyebrow Shaping Wax in Soft Brown
10. Artdeco Eyebrow Pencil in 3
11. L'oreal Super Liner Ultra Precision in Black
12. Yves Rocher Sexy Pulp in 01 Noir
13. Alverde Mascara 
14. YSL Vernis a Levres in 11
15. Avon Colortrend Juicy Raspberry 

Tip: apply a white shimmery shade from the Maybelline palette on to the inner corner of the eyes and a taupe shade to the crease in order to define your eyes better. 

Love, Christina M.

My Favourite Things Tag

Olivia Jayne kindly suggested me to do this tag and I thought it was a great idea so here it is. The main idea is to choose three favourite things for each category.

Products:
1. My mobile
2. Tangle Teezer
3. My laptop

Foods:
1. Spaghetti Carbonara
2. Sushi
3. Homemade pancakes

Places:
1. My room
2. Mannheim
3. The Volga embankment

Things to do when you're bored:
1. Read a book
2. Practice languages
3. Watch TV-shows

Things to do when it's sunny:
1. Meet up with friends in a park
2. Go outside and take pictures
3. Drink something refreshing

Films:
1. The Lord of the Rings
2. Serendipity
3. Knocking on heaven's door

Songs:
1. TDG - Chalk outline
2. Gabrielle Aplin - Mountains
3. Skillet - Comatose

Brands:
1. M.A.C.
2. Yves Rocher
3. H&M

Evenings:
1. Spending quality time with my family/friends
2. Reading blogs
3. Going to the cinema

Events:
1. Christmas
2. New Year
3. Friends' birthday parties

Cartoons:
1. Frozen
2. The Lion King
3. Daria

Buildings:
1. Koelner Dom
2. Isaac's Cathedral in St.Petersburg
3. Salvador Dali Museum in Figueres

Anything in everyday life:
1. Early morning walks
2. Sunrise
3. Talking to my friends

Influences:
1. Positive thoughts
2. Being Erica TV-show
3. Jane's blog

Drinks:
1. Water
2. Orange juice
3. German beer (why not?! hehe)

Experiences:
1. Studying abroad
2. Meeting new people
3. Teaching languages

Things to watch:
1. Friends
2. Being Erica
3. Game of Thrones

Youtubers:
1. Zoella
2. ApeCrime
3. Marie Novosad

October Recollections

October's peacefully ended and now it's time to sum everything up. This month was all about teaching practice. I've finally managed to hand in all the documents and now I'm sitting and wanting for the results to come out. Speaking about teaching, I've got a new pupil, a girl of 9 years of age who is hyperactive and that's the main problem she's struggling with (apart from getting C-s and D-s in English).  Let's see how it goes I haven't yet formed my final opinion about her but I believe I'll be able to teach her stuff.
I've seriously tried eating healthy but it just didn't go well so I dropped this idea the time when I opened a new jar of Nutella... But the biggest achievement of this month for me is baking. I baked a  strawberry-blueberry cake for the first time in life! I actually made two of them and both were amazingly tasty. I should say that I'm quite critical towards things I eat so I wouldn't have bragged about this if it wasn't true.  
Uni has recently started so now I have less free time than during teaching practice. I need to start working on my thesis but I cannot  even read the books given till the end. It's unmanageable.
Nevertheless, this october was a very productive month, I practiced my skills in many fields of my personal and not interests and learned a lot of new information.
By the way, happy Halloween!

Love, Christina M. 

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Октябрь начался с практики в школе, где практически на второй день уже стала давать уроки. Всё это время я интенсивно занималась немецким, готовилась (и продолжаю) к сдаче IELTS и учила шведский (который, в принципе, мне не особо нужен, но он мне просто нравится). Где-то в конце октября Алёне пришла гениальная мысль заниматься французским по скайпу, чем, собственно, мы и занимались. Вся документация сдана на кафедру вовремя, и мне можно забыть на мгновенье про всю эту тупую, никому не нужную бумажную работу. Даже если всё неправильно оформлено, мне уже просто egal. 

Мы начали учиться с понедельника, но у меня создалось ощущение, что я как будто уже месяц проучилась. Так медленно идет время в универе! В этот раз лекции вроде подобраны неплохие, даже может будет и интересно. Больше всего меня порадовала лекция по "Обучению иностранным языкам в зарубежной школе", потому что преподаватель включала видео на немецком (конечно, не особо полезно для тех, кто его не знает), которое я даже могла понять. Вот это для меня было удивление. 

Не обошелся этот месяц и без очередных разочарований. Я на шаг приблизилась к полному непониманию противоположного пола. Я всегда думала, что, если ты не хочешь общаться с человеком и говоришь ему, что ты больше с ним никогда не увидишься, то это точно значит то, что значит. Но нет. В моей истории здесь всё наоборот. Я уже не хочу ничего общего с ним. Мне не нужно, чтобы человек ко мне испытывал какую-либо жалость  или общался со мной только потому, что так надо или так принято, или еще по какой-нибудь придуманной причине. Это уже граничит с женской логикой. На это только можно лишь отреагировать как "ой, всё."

Этот месяц, как и предыдущий, окутаны какой-то тоской и грустью. Я ностальгирую по Германии, посылаю открытки в разные страны, пересматриваю фотографии. Я бы с удовольствием вернулась обратно. Это было бы круто. Уже два предложения в сослагательном наклонении, пора закругляться, а то я опять начну мечтать или раскатывать губу, которую потом трудно будет закатать обратно.      

Teaching French

The first thing that came to my mind while I was on summer holidays was that I would never be able to teach French simply because I am not good at speaking it.  Nevertheless, I somehow managed to pass it successfully and enjoy it a lot. Even now looking back I would really like to go and teach children French. Who would have thought?!
I was teaching second grade children  from 8 to 9 years of age. For me it is more exciting to work with little children other than with teenagers because they are kinder, more honest and open. They would hug me before and after classes and it made me feel so happy!
When I was giving a lesson for the first time at that school I had a nervous wreck - my knees were shaking, giant butterflies were flying around inside my stomach and my thoughts were in a total chaos. But day by day the whole strenuous thing disappeared and I just started to enjoy the process.  
So, I have some tips for those who only begin their career as a teacher:
1) First of all, you should stay confident in order to gain a firm standing. It is a must. But it's not a problem if you don't have it, "just fake it untill you make it".
2) Smile and be kind and open with children.
3) Improvise more and be prepared if something goes wrong.
4) Be emotional and supervise the teaching process by sharing how you feel (whether you are satisfied with their work or not). A good teacher is like an actor. Be ready to play a role of a "mother" or a good "adviser" to them.
5) If you promised children something, you are to keep it.
6) And finally, don't lose yourself. Your ideas, hopes and personal traits of character should always accompany your speech and the way you treat pupils.    

Love, Christina M.

Unrequited Love? Whatever!

I've been thinking for a while how to start this blog post but I haven't come up with an idea. So this is how it starts. It's raining outside and that creates an atmosphere for an intimate talk. Autumn has always influenced me in a negative way even though it is still my favourite season. The season when I can think of the meaning of life and what's not.
This is my final year at uni and I am supposed to behave like a mature person who knows what she wants from life. But that's not my scenario.
Basically, I'm still in a process of recovering from unrequited love. It hurt but not that much anymore. Not seeing him and talking to him helps a lot  but all these conversations are still in my head. They say time is a great healer. I've been through this once already and I know it's going to be alright in the end. But I am just a bit curious why I deserved that empathy from him. From now on I'd never like to feel like that ever again. I am not that brave to ask him face-to-face whether he likes me or not because I already know the answer and this great feeling of rejection will literally make my self-esteem go low so there'll be a long and tough process of rehab after that. I asked him out and he refused so ... I guess I'm just not his type but whatever. I'm not going to try hard for a person who isn't interested in my life in the first place. This is my advice for anyone who suffers from the same problem. First of all, respect yourself. Secondly, you can try but if it doesn't work out just let it go, dont stick to it because it's going to drag you down. Always remember that what is yours will eventually be yours but what's not will never be no matter how hard you try. And finally, learn to love yourself because when everyone is gone, you are the only person you stay with.
I wish everyone happy weekends.

Love, Christina M.    

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Я долго думала над тем, как начать этот пост, но так и не придумала. На улице сейчас дождь, что является неплохим поводом для откровенных разговоров. Осень на меня всегда влияла как-то негативно, однако она остается моим любимым временем года, когда я могу долгими вечерами думать о смысле жизни и о его отсутствии. Помимо этого, мою голову часто занимают повседневные тупые проблемы и комплексы ( без них никак) и перебирание идеальных вариантов разговоров.
Это мой последний год в универе и, казалось бы, я уже взрослый человек, который знает, что хочет от жизни, но не тут-то было. Я не ощущаю этого.
Сегодня поймала себя на мысли, что боюсь идти к своей гиперактивной ученице завтра. Потом я подумала: "ЧТО ЗА!? " Я же учитель, и я решаю как пройдет наш процесс обучения, да и в конце концов, я могу легко отказаться от неё и не трепать себе нервы. После этого я успокоилась и продолжила нормально дышать.
На следующей неделе моя практика в школе закончится, и это факт меня сильно огорчает, потому что мне нравится работать в школе вне зависимости от того, какой язык я преподаю. Скоро я вернусь в тусклую обыденность пар и холодный универ. Но это только через неделю, а пока я буду наслаждаться последними теплыми деньками осени и полнейшей прокрастинацией.
Всем хороших выходных. 

Deutschland (Part V). Mainz Photo Diary

Love, Christina M.

Three Days Grace Concert

The quality of this photo leaves much to be desired but it's the only one that is not out of focus (comparing to others).
This year hasn't stopped surprising me. I've been to Three Days Grace concert on October, 3!! I could have never imaged this would ever happen. It was an awesome concert which filled me with positive energy and lots of emotions. I was lucky to listen to "I Hate Everything About You" in its actual sound. I screamed every single word while jumping to "Chalk Outline" and "Never Too Late".
I've been to Revolverhel concert this summer and it's TDG now. Sometimes I wonder "WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?!"
Dreams do come true. Always believe in them.  

Love, Christina M.

September Recollections

Not much to recollect but still. Although I had two practices in translation, this month was pretty relaxing in a way that I didn't have to go to uni every single day.
I started to read T.Dreiser "Sister Carrie" as a part of my thesis work and I'm getting pretty fascinated by each chapter.
My teaching practice has started today. This time I'll be teaching French to 2 grades. I am super anxious and eveything about it because I don't know French that well. The teacher is nice but I can see that weird strict face empression when students do something wrong. I always wonder 'what if I do something wrong?' But I'm trying not to concentrate on what other people think because it's useless. It takes your time, energy and hope. I'll do my best at overcoming my problems on my own. Maybe it's only an autumn depression thing but I'm drowning in my negative emotions which are quite overwhelming.
P.S. facebook makes me sick and it's better not to use it right now since I have lots of things to do.  
This post is literally about nothing haha.

Love Christina M.

Deutschland (Part IV)

One of the most romantic cities in Germany is Heidelberg. It is just a fifteen-minutes' ride from Mannheim on a train. In the city centre there is a  wide street where all the shops and cafes are located.
We started our trip in the evening and ended up rambling there till late evening. First of all stopped at one of the tasty smelling cafes where I ordered pizza with salami and a glass of fresh orange juice (not beer this time :D )
We decided to make our way to Philosophenweg from which one could easily enjoy the view opening on to the city. It is up the hills. The road itself was steep and slippery from the rain but it felt like a real adventure.

Love, Christina M.

Deutschland (Part III)

Cologne has always been my dream come true city mainly because of Cologne Cathedral. On Sunday my friends and I took a trip to Cologne early in the morning ( okay, 8 a.m. is quite early for me). We bought the schoenes -Wochenende-Ticket which provides 5 people to travel across the country during weekends for 44 Euro (46 Euro - if you buy a ticket in a Schalter). So, it was almost like 9 Euro for each of us. But the most important thing here is that you cannot use ICE trains only regional ones (you can find more information here ) which leads to switching trains that sometimes might create problems if you hardly understand announcements in German. If you don't know German that well then you can just ask people before getting on a train in case if there has been a change of the platforms.

I remember someone told me that Cologne Cathedral was situated really close to Hauptbahnhof but I could never imagine that it was actually THAT close! It is soooo huge and impressive. I am not lying saying that my mouth dropped when I first saw it in real!

The inside is as beautiful as the outside with its stained-glass windows, organ and long halls.

Cologne is also famous for its chocolate museum that is not far from Cologne Cathedral (if you have GPS).  Lindt is actually Swiss chocolate not German but it tastes so good! If you are a student the Eintritt costs 6,50 Euro.  Honestly, it is probably the best place if you want to know about the history of chocolate making but it would have been better if they didn't place too much information on the walls but the most important one. By the end of the excursion I got a bit tired and the proper place to overcome your tiredness was the chocolate cafe located inside the museum. 

Cologne is one of the biggest cities in Germany with its own unique architecture and crowds of people entertaining themselves, laughing and drinking beer ;)

Love, Christina M.